Lana Del Rey Concert For Dummies


Before I left Colorado, I attended my dream concert - Lana Del Rey at the Red Rocks Amphitheater. 

But this is what I wish someone would have told me before I went. 

Welcome to the Lana Del Rey concert! Here you’ll be sure to find three things: Flower crowns, butt cheeks, and a plethora of second hand smoke.  But don’t worry. You’ll find that everyone here is clearly here for the music.

In order to make sure you get good seats, you’re going to have to wait in line in the blazing Colorado sun for approximately 6 hours, surrounded by drag queens with very strong language and teenage girls who will vocalize their behind-the-back disgust with friends and families. But it’s worth it… right? Because we are all here for the music.

Once your ass starts to bruise from sitting on concrete for half a day, you know its gate opening time! Don’t be startled when you see 200 people from the back of the line stampeding towards you in an attempt to trample you down to the ground – they’re doing it for the music. But as long as you can sprint up the 10 flights of stairs faster than the 13yr olds with no college fat, you’ll probably get a decent seat. Then you can sit for a few moments, order a nice alcoholic beverage, and weep over the fact that the wait is over and you. Got. A. Good. Seat.

But don’t get too comfortable. Once the opening act is over, make sure you grab all of your belongings as fast as humanly possible because a swarm of high schoolers that just arrived is going to run into your row and block any possible view of the stage you might have earned. Then there will be cat fights, words you’ve never heard before, and you might cry. It’s because everyone is there for the music.

LANA DEL REY BEGINNSSS!! You might find a centimeter of a window to see the stage if you stand on your tippys. At this point, everything will have all been worth it. But between the wafts of weed and your amazement at the beautiful music, don’t be surprised when find yourself thinking, “How the hell could these people be here for the music?"

Lana del Rey’s music is real. These people are fake.
Music brings people together. These people would rather 'bitch you out' than share the view.
Music is naturally moving. These people smoke weed for a “deeper” experience.
Music empowers. These people treat you like you aren’t human.
Music celebrates talent and creativity. These people celebrate ass-crack-cut levi’s, dictionaries of profanity, and the fact that they robbed you of the experience you waited 8 hours for.

Let us reconsider the intentions with which we partake in society’s culture because this is really not ok.

Let us seek perspective in all situations - recognizing that what we sow is what we will reap.

Let us remember that human beings hold unparalleled value.

& Friends... for the sake of all things good, LET US BE KIND.



  1. This is brilliant. Concerts can really bring out the worst in people. I just discovered your blog and it's beautiful!

  2. I really loved this. Humor and truth altogether.


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